I am studying oboe at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland, and I am learning a whole new style of oboe playing. I am surrounded by amazing oboe players who have been playing this style their whole lives, I have done it for a month.
So naturally, a little comparison has set in. Today we talk about how comparison doesn’t make sense and how we can work through it.
1. Re-frame it
The thing is, comparison is not fair. We often compare someone else’s achievements with our struggles — we will always loose that comparison.
Understanding that comparison is never fair, and we will never get an accurate representation of comparing us to someone else is the first step to working through it.
2. Let it inspire you
Comparison can be turned into inspiration. When I auditioned for the Peabody Institute of Music, I heard the girl before me play and got really nervous. One of the ways that I regained confidence was to let myself be inspired by her playing.
Instead of saying “Oh I could never do that,” I tried, “I am so inspired; I can’t wait to do that.”
This opens so many opportunities for you to learn and grow from others.
3. Make it practical
Having a practical aspect to comparison can help it to go away. This when you interact with the person you are comparing yourself to. Ask them a question, compliment them, or do something else that let’s you interact with them.
I did this when I auditioned for the Peabody Institute of Music by complimenting the girl in front of me. Her genuine happiness from my compliment helped me be even more inspired by her and excited to audition.
If you are struggling with comparison, know that you are not alone. It is a normal thing that everyone experiences, and you can work through it.
All my best,
Eleanor
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